Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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