Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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