after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
