The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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