just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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