Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.

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(440): View more from Ohio

By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.

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(850): View more from Florida

I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.

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(928): View more from Arizona

If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed

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(450): View more from Quebec

She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...

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(209): View more from California

and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.

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