Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
