Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he thought i was a dude.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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