Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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