And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize