Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
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I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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