I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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