The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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