my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
