I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
