dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize