It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
