She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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