I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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