After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
