Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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