i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
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Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
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I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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