Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Did you just see the Batmobile???
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
