3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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