Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We need to get me chipped asap
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
