i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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