what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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