his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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