I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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