Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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