Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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