i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
