Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.

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  (816): you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell. http://tfl.nu/74j4
  Replies (30) Good night (942) Bad night (3747)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?

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  (570): how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge? http://tfl.nu/xxhq
  Replies (8) Good night (4402) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation

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  (504): I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation http://tfl.nu/lbqv
  Replies (22) Good night (1486) Bad night (3218)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.

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  (630): I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better. http://tfl.nu/ly4a
  Replies (23) Good night (5479) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.

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  (650): I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats. http://tfl.nu/rm40
  Replies (42) Good night (14254) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent

  (770): View more from Georgia

  don't you ever do that...

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  (404): i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent (770): don't you ever do that... http://tfl.nu/61yw
  Replies (29) Good night (4518) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.

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  (724): are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations. http://tfl.nu/i5jg
  Replies (12) Good night (1531) Bad night (3977)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.

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  (781): his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me. http://tfl.nu/jba1
  Replies (5) Good night (2261) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.

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  (734): He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good. http://tfl.nu/bj85
  Replies (13) Good night (4665) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Jealous?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Very.

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  (903): This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits. (254): Jealous? (903): Very. http://tfl.nu/i9gx
  Replies (8) Good night (2498) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed

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  (215): For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed http://tfl.nu/2i1h
  Replies (2) Good night (1277) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.

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  (306): I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text. http://tfl.nu/e61q
  Replies (8) Good night (3124) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm stealing this baby.

  (1-719): View more from Colorado

  Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?

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  (719): I'm stealing this baby. (1-719): Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it? http://tfl.nu/p4hu
  Replies (5) Good night (1300) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.

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  (570): And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny. http://tfl.nu/bodd
  Replies (9) Good night (858) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award

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  (618): Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award http://tfl.nu/x66g
  Replies (8) Good night (911) Bad night (243)

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