Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates

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(201): Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates http://tfl.nu/tqkf

Replies (7) Good night (496) Bad night (1096)
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(720): View more from Colorado

yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers

(1-720): View more from Colorado

eat her like coffee?

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(720): yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers (1-720): eat her like coffee? http://tfl.nu/6p99

Replies (19) Good night (1219) Bad night (3201)
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(316): View more from Kansas

Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.

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(316): Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can. http://tfl.nu/zubg

Replies (26) Good night (1172) Bad night (3970)
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(801): View more from Utah

I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.

(1-801): View more from Utah

We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.

(801): View more from Utah

I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!

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(801): I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high. (1-801): We could get him to build Inspector Gadget. (801): I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!! http://tfl.nu/5lpc

Replies (31) Good night (7027) Bad night (719)
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(813): View more from Florida

I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.

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(813): I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night. http://tfl.nu/ctdw

Replies (15) Good night (851) Bad night (8121)
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(650): View more from California

we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed

(505): View more from New Mexico

god you guys know how to party

(650): View more from California

worst. bachelorette party. ever.

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(650): we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed (505): god you guys know how to party (650): worst. bachelorette party. ever. http://tfl.nu/3oqx

Replies (16) Good night (1007) Bad night (6869)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.

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(270): I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/gibq

Replies (12) Good night (1174) Bad night (4943)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.

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(606): he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman. http://tfl.nu/lhzg

Replies (25) Good night (4995) Bad night (1669)
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(816): View more from Missouri

you were mass sexting so we took your phone away

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(816): you were mass sexting so we took your phone away http://tfl.nu/u2si

Replies (13) Good night (4917) Bad night (1236)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...

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(321): Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games... http://tfl.nu/gpo9

Replies (6) Good night (757) Bad night (1523)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.

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(651): Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it. http://tfl.nu/j2gr

Replies (5) Good night (1457) Bad night (473)
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(607): View more from New York

So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.

(607): View more from New York

These are the moments that bond souls forever.

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(607): So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan. (607): These are the moments that bond souls forever. http://tfl.nu/nwlm

Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (403)
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(408): View more from California

tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????

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(408): tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ???? http://tfl.nu/bwh4

Replies (2) Good night (1539) Bad night (522)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan

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(218): I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan http://tfl.nu/xroh

Replies (11) Good night (1874) Bad night (503)
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(315): View more from New York

I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.

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(315): I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly. http://tfl.nu/59ai

Replies (7) Good night (525) Bad night (294)

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