Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I can't open my eyes

(925): View more from California

Lol why not?

(808): View more from Hawaii

Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk

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(607): View more from New York

so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.

(906): View more from Michigan

so you're not coming in to work today?

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(828): View more from North Carolina

he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(702): View more from Nevada

explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?

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(631): View more from New York

So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!

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