ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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