I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
