whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I could make wine with my vomit
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
