I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
