Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
