I think my vagina is haunted
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
