They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
