I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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