i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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