I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm at about main and main street
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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