it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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