I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
