Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this boner is exhausting
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
