i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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