im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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