oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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