he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
