puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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