He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
