You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
