When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Randomize
