she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
