Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
