I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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