dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
