Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
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the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
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The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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