all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
