Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
