No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
