1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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