I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
