Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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