i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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