Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
